Tags
According to a July 5 Wall Street Journal article by Jeff Zaslow, sweet gentle Mr. Rogers is being blamed for several generations of narcissism in our culture.
“Don Chance, a finance professor at Louisiana State University, says it dawned on him last spring. The semester was ending, and as usual, students were making a pilgrimage to his office, asking for the extra points needed to lift their grades to A’s.
“They felt so entitled,” he recalls, “and it just hit me. We can blame Mr. Rogers.”"
Seems the line of thinking is that Mr. Rogers told us we’re all special but forgot to tell us we have to work hard to get where we want to go. Uh…so he’s to blame? May his spirit rest in peace at that outrageous claim.
Where are the parents in this whole thing? And a society based on consumerism and more is better?
To be fair, Professor Chance says Mr. Rogers is just representative of a doting parental and social structure that gave the kids the wrong message. I’m not sure what planet he’s on, but the kids I know had to work harder in school than I ever did. It became all about the grades and taking advantage of every after-school activity they could fit into their heavy schedules. The pressure has been enormous. I don’t think Mr. Rogers would have wanted that for his darlings.
We are special. Each and every one of us. And we also need to put effort into getting things we want. I don’t doubt Mr. Chance has been seeing something changing over the years. But his example of kids fighting for a higher grade makes me smile. On one hand, it can show an over-developed sense of entitlement as he says. But it also shows kids unafraid to speak up for themselves and fight for what they feel is right.
Guided properly by teachers who can appreciate that spark of independent spirit, these kids would probably turn out just fine. I’ve mentored young people like that who just needed some supportive tweaking and time to grow. And they turned out great. But that takes an enlightened educator who is willing to bend with the times and not waiting for kids to be the way they used to be back in the good ol’ days. The old days are gone. The challenge now is: How do we prepare our young people while respecting that who they are is special.
Anyone who wants to squelch that doesn’t get how powerful that message can be with the right guidance! Mr. Rogers got it. But he couldn’t do it by himself – especially from inside a TV set.
Hey there Out of my Head.
Gotta tell you, I never ever trusted Mr. Rogers, yes, I liked his cool li’l world, a train that appears out of a tunnel, but really, the buttoned cardigan always freaked me out.
You are right-all kids are special, I agree. The thing is, without dissing Mr. Rogers or teachers, how many adults have the capability of allowing numerous children to shine?
I watch teachers and I become less than enchanted, I see favoritism, I see tempers, I see humanity. I would like to believe I would be more even handed if I were in their shoes, but I’m not, so truly, I don’t know.
I think teaching is one of the hardest professions out there. There are a lot of stinkers…but there are good ones too. It’s just that my radar goes off when I hear educators blaming the kids and society for “these awful kids”. We are all the products of our past and each generation morphs from the old.
While I agree it’s important to look at (and learn from) influencing factors, I think it’s basically a red herring – and a lot of finger-pointing. Maybe even a yearning for “the good old days.” The real question for me is how do we work with these kids – with all those influences and all their newfangled ways of acting – to get them to where they need to go for their generation’s future. And I suggest a good starting point is by seeing their good points rather than all their faults – and then building from there. It seems silly to focus on how they got so “wrong” and let that be where the effort goes. You can’t put the genie back in the bottle – but you can help him find how to put his powers to good use!
BTW…one of the best educators I ever knew often wore a button-down cardigan. (-;
I think there’s a certain amount of truth to his bigger picture, that maybe we make kids a little too confident in their own abilities, but I’ve also seen the opposite. I’ve taught in real mean streets schools where many kids weren’t given enough confidence boosting at home or at school growing up. The feelings of inferiority that come from this lead not only to failure, but also to much of the anger, attitude and violence that are used to compensate for these feelings. Someone who feels good about him or herself is not going to go off on someone else for a perceived slight—often as little as a stare or a bump in a crowded space.
Regarding Fred Rogers, he never talked down to kids. He never made them think their fears were silly, for instance—he even had a reassuringly straightforward song about kids not being able to go down the bathtub drain. And unlike virtually all other programming for kids, he carefully separated reality and make believe. That trolley SurfaceEarth mentioned? It took viewers to the “neighborhood of make believe.” And that was the only place puppets and magic appeared.
I loved Mr. Rogers, but I was one of those kids with the super-disciplinarian mom and dad. Compared to them, Mr. R was such a relief!
While kids are influenced by tv and pop culture, the lessons they learn the best are from the family, whether parents realize it or not. I’ve seen people *in public* allow their little ones to throw tantrums, yell and scream, play on escalators, and basically wreak a lot havoc for a 3, 4 , or 5 year old. I always thought, wow, that’s going to be hard to handle when the kid’s 16 (because ultimately, they’ll keep doing it, in some way).
I’ve also worked with youth as a tutor and subbed at a middle school, and from the outside looking in, it seems really obvious to me: the family is the first school any child attends! A TV can be turned off, a TV show can be discussed and processed with an adult’s help, but the adult (i.e. the parent) has to be a willing participant. Mr. Rogers and teachers, with their limited access from the screen and the classroom, can’t have that same reach. I’ve found that kids who are entitled usually have parents who were too permissive, and didn’t say “no” when it was merited.
Terry: Thanks for your wonderful comment. We so easily look to blame, but in this case there are also wonderful things about these kids and a creative society looks to nurture those aspects – which will by effect minimize the impact of the “faults”. I agree that the respect Mr. Rogers showed children was a truly wonderful thing. And we can always use places where magic an puppets come to life.
Mel: You’re so right about the family. I’ve heard parents putting an unrealistic amount of responsibility on teachers for raising their children. It has to start at home. By the time they get to college – no matter what they are or aren’t – a professor like Mr. Chance can mine for the gold that’s there. There is always gold if you take the time to look. If you aren’t too busy blaming.
Not that there aren’t some young people who make it really hard. Not that Mr. Chance doesn’t have a tough job. I just know that his attitude doesn’t help him see what treasures he has before him. He’s too busy being upset that they don’t measure up to his own expectations. And I write this thinking of a college professor friend who does have some real “stinkers” at times. But man he really cares and he connects – and challenges them to dig inside themselves and shine despite their mostly spoiled upbringing. He believes in them and in possibility. (He’s a physicist.) If my friend can do it, so can Mr. Chance and others who see the half-full glass. Maybe their problem is they didn’t watch enough Mr. Rogers. (-;