Aha! I spotted exactly what I needed while looking through a local adult education catalog, and signed up for a class that said it could help me find my soul mate. It felt like forever since I’d had a date – much less a soul mate – and at least a lifetime or two since I’d met anyone that even resembled the “right” guy. So throwing doubt and fear to the wind, I decided to re-enter the world of possibility.

Aaah…the idea of a soul mate is so utterly comforting. One person out there for me and me alone. And this amazing class would help me find him.

The class was taught by a charming woman (whom I’ll call Melinda) who with all her heart seemed to honestly want to help each of us find our true soul mate. So, after some basic introductions, for the next 3 hours she told this somewhat skeptical, somewhat hopeful group of soul-connected wannabes what WE needed to do to make that happen.

But wait a minute…I have to actually do stuff to make this happen? This concept twisted my brain a bit. I’d always thought if soul mates truly existed, then it was all preordained and the universe took care of everything – even cleverly creating the serendipitous circumstances of our meeting. I assumed I wouldn’t have to do much of anything except know where to look and how to recognize him – and then just scoop him up. Not so it seems. There are often diversions and even obstacles. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So Melinda starts out by telling us the origin of our soul mate – basically a variation of the Adam and Eve story. Once we were one with our soul mate, she tells us, but it seems things changed big time when poor Eve took a bite out of that oh-so-tempting apple and Adam ratted on her rather than defending her. As Melinda explained, men are designed to protect women, so naturally a rift occurred. Women, she informed us, need to be taken care of and without that are not complete.

Hand goes up immediately. Mine. “What do you mean men are designed to protect us and that we actually NEED this to be whole again? This goes against all I’ve ever believed!!!”

She graciously resisted a variation of my favorite Dr. Phil question “And how’s that workin’ for ya?” and gently explained how it’s all about yin and yang.

Hand goes up. Mine again. “But I thought the yin and yang was in each of us and that we each have male and female essence?”

“Yes, we do. Of course. But we search for the other half of our soul to be complete.”

Hand again. Mine. “Weren’t we both men and women in our past lives?”

“Yes. At one time. But women are higher up on the evolutionary scale and therefore once you are a woman, you don’t go back to being a man.”

The lone man in the room sank a bit lower into his chair.

As for me…I considered asking why, if this were true, I’d even want to search for this lower-evolutionary being now that I’m so evolved. Was it only to protect me? Couldn’t I hire someone to do that? But I decided maybe to get the real essence of the lesson I just needed to at least try to keep my hand down and listen more. And so I did.

Melinda went on to explain about twin souls versus soul mates, and how we often settle for a twin soul, but s/he is not really our soul mate. She told us how she was engaged and one of her angels came to her in a dream and told her she would meet her soul mate the next day. And she did. But he was married, so she had to let him go – and never saw him again, since it would have been bad karma to pursue that under the circumstances, even if he were separated. (Oy, am I in karmic trouble!) Still, she broke up with her fiance – since she realized it wasn’t right.

Once again I didn’t raise my hand, but wondered why, if her soul mate is out of the picture and she’s stuck in this lifetime unable to be with him, she had to break up with the other guy, whom she’s still really close to? Why not stick with this pretty good guy, since her soul mate is apparently out for this lifetime? I hope she wasn’t waiting for something to go wrong so he’d be free again.

Also along that thread…about an hour later when she was showing us some chants we can do to attract our soul mate (yes…my eyes rolled a bit), she told us she does this one particular chant while cleaning. But wait…she already met her one and only soul mate (she assures us there is but one) and he’s taken…so what’s with the chanting? Does she want to break up his marriage? Chanting is awfully powerful, even if she doesn’t intend the unfortunate outcome. I worry.

So…back to us. Now that we understand about soul mates and that we only have one of them, we are ready to focus again on attracting him into our life.

Hand goes up. Mine. “But what if he’s not ready to meet us? He could have karmic stuff he’s busy taking care of?”

“Let’s not focus on that.”

OK. So Melinda tells us to write down 60 things we want in our soul mate and then asks us to go home and write 45 more tonight, putting those thoughts into our visualizations.

Hand goes up. Mine. “But…wait. If we only have one soul mate, don’t we have to take him as he is? Isn’t it limiting to come up with a list of stuff?”

Now Ming raises her hand. “I don’t like fat people. What if my soul mate is fat?”

Since Melinda had assured us that one way to know it’s our soul mate is if there’s an obstacle to overcome, I suggest that maybe the weight is the obstacle and Ming can help him lose the weight.

“But I work out and believe in fitness. I don’t like flab!”

Melinda suggested we cleanse our auras at this point, which I did as best as I could. And I must admit I did feel better after the cleansing meditation and even decided to give at least some of this stuff a chance.

So I went home with my pink quartz crystal and my still blank list of soul mate characteristics, and thought about all I’d learned. Mostly I was just happy for having had an interesting experience. But I also realized, even through the miasma of amused skepticism, I and my love life probably could benefit from learning to be at least a bit more open to other ways of looking at things.

I also needed to ponder why I actually gave Ming my phone number when she asked for it. And why she had.


Note: This class happened last year but, considering the fast-paced, high-tech, love-starved world we all live in, I figured it worth sharing anyway. And…sigh…in case you were wondering, I still haven’t found my true soul mate. I just pray it wasn’t Ming. Not just for the most obvious reason, but because I gained about 3 pounds since then and I know how she hates even a little flab!