OK. So…I’m having this fight with my inner voice (MIV) about what’s important in life and what isn’t.

MIV: I want you to devote your time to things that really matter from now on, ok?

Me: But doesn’t everything matter?

MIV: Like the reality TV show Hell’s Kitchen?

Me: I get a kick out of it.

MIV: But you know that Chef Ramsay is horribly mean to people. Aren’t you ashamed to support something like that?

Me: Well…kinda. But the contestants knew what they were getting into.

MIV: Exploitation? Unfair editing? Challenges that make them look bad despite their many talents? Being screamed at mercilessly?

Me: Yeah. But it’s fun to watch.

MIV: FUN! People in misery are fun to watch?

Me: It’s a TV show, Inner Voice. Lighten up.

MIV: And it’s on Fox. The demon channel.

Me: I know. (Feeling really bad about that)

MIV: And so is American Idol. And On The Lot. And The Simpsons.

Me: Now wait just a minute. The Simpsons are sacred territory. They represent everything Fox isn’t.

MIV: Yet you have to watch Rupert Murdoch’s Fox Network to get to them.

Me: Yes. I do. (Head hanging low.) But they all give me joy!

MIV: All trivial pursuits. You should be spending your time enriching yourself.

Me: Joy is enriching! Joy is wonderful!

MIV: And you should be doing things of value.

Me: Joy has value. Much value.

MIV: And you should be doing things that help the world.

Me: But trivial pursuits do help the world by bringing us joy!

MIV: Watching Fox TV shows helps the world? These popular programs are funding their propaganda. Not to mention what Fox and Murdoch have done to the standard of news in this country.

Me: Now you’re just confusing me.

MIV: And their propaganda is helping promote policies you hate.

Me: Don’t you ever lighten up? When’s the last time you had fun?

MIV: Sigh. I know. It’s been years. There’s just no way to have fun when you have to monitor each media source and corporate sponsor for hidden agendas.

Me: Look. See that TV show? It’s called Lingo. It’s on the Game Show Network and it’s just plain fun to watch and play along. They give you a starting letter and you have to figure out the 5-letter word.

MIV: Do you know who owns the Game Show Network? I could do some research.

Me: You go do that, ok? And take your time. Really. Take lots of time. Meanwhile, I’ll just watch Chuck Woolery and Shandi. “It’s BLISS! B-L-I-S-S. Why can’t they see that word?”

MIV: Do you know if Chuck Woolery is pro or against gun control?

Me: GET OUT!!!!!

MIV: Gee. You sound like Chef Ramsay now.

Me: OUT! OUT! OUT!

MIV: Hmmm…maybe I’ll just do some research on the negative modeling effects of bad TV role models.

Me: I can’t hear you any more. I’m in bliss. Oh that Chuck Woolery. He makes me forget any quest for substance. “It’s SMILE. S-M-I-L-E.”

MIV: Curses. No inner voice can get through the mindlessness of the Chuck Woolery shield! Oh well. You can’t win ’em all. “It’s UNCLE. U-N-C-L-E!”