I have a friend who was raised to “turn the mattresses,” as he calls it. For him, a moment of doing nothing was a sin. His father drummed it into the family that there’s always something that can be done, and if you can’t think of anything, then go turn all the mattresses in the house! And even today in his adult life, my friend can’t help feeling that doing nothing is never ok.
Making quite the opposite point, my cyper-pal Liz just posted a wonderful piece on simplicity: A Rendezvous of Musings. She makes a good case for shifting our focus to the simple things – including quiet time.
Now I know that society would come to a halt if we never wanted to turn the metaphoric mattresses. I’m certainly not suggesting that. It’s fun to get immersed in wonderful projects – especially those we really care about. And it’s fun to feel that sense of accomplishment from our efforts.
But there’s also a great pleasure that comes from the space in between things. The downtime where nothingness actually re-energizes us and sparks creativity. And from simplifying our lives rather than making them more complex. More is not always more – and so often it’s much less.
Each person is different and has a different need for stimulation and socialization. Like Liz, I’m at the introvert end of the spectrum and really treasure my quieter moments. Yet I have friends who thrive on more activity and that’s great too. Each to his own.
But too often, the messages from society – work, family, friends, media – tell us we MUST go go go! I think anyone can find value from taking a breather and adding those oh so healing times of nothingness. And I want you to know there is no sin to that!
In those moments unencumbered by obligation or the need to accomplish anything or be anything but who we really are, we give ourselves time to heal and grow. From the quiet springs new life. And hopefully, some challenging new mattresses.
Out of My Head 
A lovely piece.
It’s never a matter of ‘either’ ‘or’ – either being busy or being quiet and calm.
It’s about ‘and’ – knowing life is busy and full and at times completely exhausting – and – taking 10 minutes/hours/days to be in what Joseph Campbell called our ‘bliss’. That space that feel like time is stretched and you’re connected to that lovely relaxed, quiet and fun space.
Funnily enough – being in your bliss can be in the bath, having friends over for dinner, planting some flowers, climbing a mountain, dancing with 1000 people. Even being busy can be part of bliss.
For me – I get that life isn’t ever balanced – because it’s not like getting a see saw even. Life’s too complex for that. All we can do is be really aware when life will be max over the top – and create time and space for some quiet, play, sleep, dance – whatever.
It’s actually about being truly yourself – and for me that means all sorts of external/internal activity and then really slowing down. I don’t do nicely even days – who does?
Always love your writing.
Liz
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Aw thanks Liz. Love your philosophy of life. Balance between work and play and just nothingness really is the key. Hope one day to be able to sit with you and watch that garden grow. (-;
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How affirming to be told though that there is no sin in taking a break. Ah, I feel like I just did by reading your post and Liz’s that you referenced. Lovely.
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Yes, we all need downtime and interludes to simply be. I too treasure alone time and quietude. We all need it, but as you point out, many were raised to believe “idle hands do the devil’s work.” I wondered where that religious saying came from, the bible or elsewhere, and found the answer here: http://www.answers.com/topic/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-to-do
The saying was even used to apply to women specifically, 😦 as I discovered here: http://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVanswers/2006/06-09.htm
I think the problem lies in misunderstanding idleness. Meditation is certainly not idleness. Nor is taking a meandering stroll without a purpose or destination, sitting in a garden absorbing mother nature, watching a sunset, basking in the moonlight, laying in the grass, stargazing, sitting on the porch, or by a pond, etc. What we tend to think of nothingness, is really somethingness, and therein lies the beauty of it. During times of solitary quietude, enlightenment is our most frequent visitor.
Yes. I do believe you have inspired a post in me, with reference to you as my inspiration.
I highly recommend the book “Party of One: The Loner’s Manifesto,” by Anneli Rufus. It’s about the beauty of lonerdom, and society’s unfortunate misconceptions of it.
Thank you Ronnie Ann. As always I appreciate your thoughts and thought-provoking inspiration. I love the mutual exchange of thoughts, elucidation, and inspiration we all find in each other. The Web is wonderful.
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Thank you, MW, for filling in the true meaning of “nothingness”. That’s the lovely little joke. Nothingness is filled with so much – even when it is merely filled with that joyful communion with that wonderful something beyond the everyday.
Appreciate the link to references about “idle hands do the devil’s work.” It’s funny to me that this tradition doesn’t believe there is a god powerful enough to fill those moments. And the basic underlying message is that we can’t be trusted or trust ourselves. And yet, when we are alone and in a meditative moment, that’s the time when we first get to truly know ourselves apart from all the “tribal ” influences, as Carolyn Myss might put it.
Interestingly, vision quests were always about going out on your own to face nature and – ultimately – yourself. That’s where we become one with ourselves and find our true purpose on earth. Possibly invoking the threat of the devil is a convenient way of keeping one from straying too far from the control of those who utter those words.
Look forward to your post. And to a continued enlightening exchange among all of us! Namaste.
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I’ve been writing and thinking about this quite a bit lately and keep finding that inner peace that’s inside of me if only I take the time to notice it, feel it, use it, immerse myself in it and do what I have to do for me.
It’s only from that place that I can heal, pull myself and my thoughts together and it’s been doing wonders for me.
I’m still in the process of knowing exactly what it is and where to find it, but i can and do get there – a lot lately.
Peace, love and understanding~
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What a lovely thing, RubyShooZ that you are able to access that inner peace as you say “a lot lately”. I hear it gets easier to find our way the more we visit with it. Eventually it becomes home. For now I’m still using a guest visa. (-;
Thanks for the great comment. Peace love and understanding right back at ya.
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